I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
