"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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