i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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