Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
