Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
