i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
