I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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