she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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