hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
