i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
