brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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