i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
