Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The Olympian is in my bed
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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