I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
