He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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