Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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