Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
