goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
