Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
