K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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