hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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