He uses pillows to masturbate.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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