i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
