have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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