Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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