I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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