loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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