half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
