look no pants
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
