420 ftw
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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