Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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