its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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