Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
