i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I could fuck to npr.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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