Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm at about main and main street
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
