I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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