God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
