T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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