i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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