I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
