So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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