He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I believe in your delicious
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
