I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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