this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
