I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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