We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
