Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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