Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
