yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
