I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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