yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize