How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
