...so i touched it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
