I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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