You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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