Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
