he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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