lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i believe in u and ur pee
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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