I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
