My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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