i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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